She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
