I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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