Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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