he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
My liver just had a heart attack.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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