When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
