Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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