you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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