you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
