Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
