You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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