I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
So vagazzling was a success
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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