you guys were way drunker than both of me
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
