the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
