idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
