I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
he fucked my hip out of place.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
