I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
