She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
