porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
