But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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