How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Randomize
