Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize