I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize