her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
