Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
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