Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
