watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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