I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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