So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
