just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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