I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
