i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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