if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
