you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
