you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
