I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
