yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
My liver just had a heart attack.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
