Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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