My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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