You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Randomize
