we have officially lost it.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
