I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
