my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
we're so committed to being not committed
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
