Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
