i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
