somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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