What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
