i think my mom watched the whole time
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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