how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
