i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
