i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Randomize