if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
