found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
