idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Randomize
