i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
we should paint friendship bongs
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