she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
