i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
