This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
