is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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