Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize