I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
