mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
