shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
